Ironman 2012 - DNF

I had a great training season this year - only a few minor mishaps - falling on bike - nothing serious. I also did all the work that I thought I needed to following a plan - and biking nothing but steep tough hills to prepare for Ironman Lake Placid 2012. I tested nutrition, tested bike, ran, swam a ton - rented a very cute bungalow with my friend Cheryl (also doing Ironman) so that we could have our own food, and space and be convenient to the race location. Everything seemed to go well - my last 100 mile bike ride was probably toughest in and around Lake George with some killer hills - slow but I got it done. My running went oK - still slow, but felt I could handle the distance. Ironman LP 2012 was July 22nd - swim start at 7:00 a.m. - felt pretty good starting the swim - nervous as expected but manageable. Very crowded start - 3000 entrants - where I started wasnt too bad because i was treading water and not many around me - but all those on shore caught up to me pretty quickly. My second loop was smoother - got right on the underwater cable so very little sighting - came out of swim at 1:48:02. Great! Ran to transition - got my gear on - got my bike and off I went. Within about 15 minutes of being on the bike my intestines got crampy and I needed a bathroom. Badly. It continued for the next 40 miles and then became nausea also. I wasn't able to get food down and barely wanted to drink though I knew I needed to. Everything was making me sick. If I tried to eat anything - even banana - it made me want to throw up. I kept losing time every time I had to use a port-potty - and I'm not fast to begin with. By the time I realized I was reaching first time cut-off of bike - I was still 16 miles out on course. I knew I could not make up the time on the second loop and wasn't able to get nutrition - which weakens you. When I got back to transition for second loop of bike - I stopped. My choice at that point - or they would've pulled me from bike course later when they knew I wouldn't make the cut off. I felt horrible - disappointed, embarassed, defeated. I couldn't stop crying once I started. I picked up my bags - bike and run from the transition area and walked back to where we were staying. As I left transition I ran into two friends (spectators) and told them what happened with tears streaming down my face. Said I'd be OK when they asked to help - and I kept walking. I still have trouble talking about this - just feel like I failed. Could I have done something differently - toughed it out ?? Made up the time - I don't think so. Could I have been quicker in the Porta-potties? Not sure. LOL - it's done. I'm trying to move on - it is difficult. I've signed up for a half-ironman distance race in September and hope to do better there - but it's still not an Ironman. I know with time this will get better - and I've been reading about a lot of DNF due to similar problems and heard there was a record number for this race - but have to say - it was my signature race for the year and I am devastated. Life goes on and sh** happens - so keep going - one step at a time.